Friday, 3 January 2014

Issued In Female Interest.

Yesterday I met a friend’s friend and he was telling us about this girl he broke up with over an SMS. “You deserve better!” That was his excuse. Yes, of course that girl deserves better. And he justified his excuse saying it was better than “I need more space” or “I never had feelings for you” etc etc. He also made us read the mails she sent him, begging to take her back…asking him what went wrong, blaming herself for the break up and etc etc. And yes, the guy completely enjoyed the attention showered on him.
This post is about why and how not to be that girl.
Breaking up over a text or a mail is so commonplace these days. We are the tech-savvy generation after all. And so it’s the new normal people say. But whatever.  It is, was and will always be insensitive. One does not wonder why SMS? Obvious reasons.
1)      Easy and convenient.
2)      Helps guys avoid questions like “Why?”
3)      Short and sweet
4)      Saves guys from truckload of emotional atyachaar.
So, he broke up with you over a text? You are heartbroken not to have him? He was your soul-mate? And you always trusted him when he said he loved you? Your relationship was perfect? You believed you two were meant to be? You dreamt of a big fat Indian wedding with him, honeymoon in Paris, two kids, Bunty and Bubbly?  You planned to live with him happily ever after in a land called far far away? Such a sentimental love plot with an inevitable mawkish ending?  Oh, who were you kidding? Wait! You couldn’t help but believe him? And now you can’t get over him…even after he broke up with you over an SMS? But hey, what could be the best time to welcome a few changes in yourself and feel brand new and fresh?
The first step to change is to GET OVER IT. Stop blaming yourself for having ruined it. I know you are sad about it but stop crying and making others around you feel disgusted. Crying over the lost relationship is the new illiterate. Blame him. Accuse him of being inconsiderate, too casual and unfriendly. He cocked it up. That’s what guys do. “Cock” it up.  But peace now. Crap happens. Stop feeling small and ugly. Learn a lesson. Sleep well. Let this pass.
The second step is TO KNOW. You must know your guy is like Inception. He’ll pay with your brain. He’ll make you believe that he loves you. And trust me, he is incredibly brilliant at it. He was unreastically sweet, supportive and beyond awesome? You wouldn’t even dream of something as perfect. He faked well. So, if you believed him, it wasn’t your fault. There comes the next step. Never trust a guy. Never in your life. Its good to have trust issues.  If he says he loves you only after two dates, slap him. Why? Really? Put your mind to work because that is the most perverted statement you’ll ever hear.
It is NOT okay to get emotionally involved with every guy you date. Love your girlfriends. We women live the same identical lives and fix it for each other, considering they are so melodramatically ‘complicated’. And with a man you can never achieve such amazing synchronization.
Again, you must know what guys want. From dusk to dawn, its all about sex. Guys can hook up with any girl. A guy will be more interested in your well rounded ass and black pointed stilettos but never your khol filled eyes.
Stop being pure-as-the-driven-snow girl. Have the courage and confidence to be the new damn-it-to-hell bad girl. Become one of those dirty girls. That is sexy.  Clean is too old fashioned. Reckless dating is fun. Try that.
Don’t reduce your life to manhunts. There is more to your life than just men. You have friends, work, travel and so many things. Don’t let your life come down to a sad succession of sad songs about men. You are a free woman. You are awesome and you don’t need a man to make you feel complete. Stop looking for love. They say it right, “Love will happen to you without your seeking it.”
Be wise. And who is a wise girl? “A wise girl kisses but does not love, listens but does not believe and leaves before she is left.” Be that wise girl.
Marilyn Monore said, “Well behaved women barely make any history.” Make that lady your idol. Be sexy.
Xoxo

NOTE: I do not claim to be an expert. But from one learner to another. And yes, not all guys are the same. 

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